the arts

My friend Dee told me about the Virginia Beach MOCA {Museum of Contemporary Art}
I was looking at some art classes for the girls a couple weekends ago, and then she told me they were having a homeschool open house last Friday and today. I wanted to go with her Friday, but our homeschool co-op is back in session for the semester.

I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it out there today....our van needs some work. It's making a horrid sound when we drive. I decided last minute to load the kids up so we could go check the place out.
It was from 10-12 and we arrived closer to 11am. When Samuel was younger I made much better time, now that he's older, I run late almost all of the time. Gotta do better on that.

We ran into some of our friends as soon as we entered....that's always a nice surprise!

Our first stop was making our very own trading cards. Both girls had made cards with a China theme. Ava also made a giant card with some Egyptian symbols on it. I realized sometime after we left the museum that they left their cards there. Bummer. We did bring home the print out for making more trading cards.

After viewing some of the wild, creative, and beautiful art by Robert Sites, we headed to the kids section.

There was this interesting contraption that had all sorts of pipe cleaners woven through it. They had a ball with that for a while.

They flipped through books, watched a man make a lobster out of glass on the tv, did some drawing, and made an impressive castle out of foam blocks.

I didn't get any pictures of the actual art on the walls. Maybe next time. We really enjoyed ourselves for the short time we were there. I'm thinking of signing the girls up for some of their art classes. I don't know. Ava wants to do Ballet, Kiah has decided on Soccer, plus she has Girl Scouts, and Ava wants to join Girl Scouts this Summer when she turns five. I have my own projects I'm working on.
I don't want to spread myself too thin.

The girls aren't really asking for certain types of classes, but my friends are telling me about all of these great classes, and I know the girls would enjoy them. Then there's finances. I'm always looking for inexpensive activities for the kids, and thankfully we have a lot of options here in Virginia. Still, trying to do too much at once cane make things expensive quickly.

Note to self: we don't have to do everything at once!

There's plenty to do and the year is just starting. I'm supposed to be making a list of all the things we want to do this year. That way I can plan better. I used to be so organized! I'll figure it out.




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My Rebirth: An Honest Look

Welcome to the first edition of the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, hosted by Authentic Parenting and Mudpiemama!
In the month of January, we start afresh, a new year, new ideas. Hence, our participants have looked into the topic of “Birth and New Beginnings”. Take a look at the end of this post to find a list of links to the entries of the other participants.
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This blog was originally created for me to talk more about myself. I had a separate blog to talk about unschooling, but after much back and forth, I decided to combine the two. I'm really glad I did, but somewhere along the way I lost the art of me. There weren't many post before I combined the blogs, maybe a couple of months worth.

I don't know exactly when it happened, but I do know the how and why. I love taking pictures, and if you're a regular reader that's not news to you. I suppose I started letting my pictures tell the story, and I did less writing.
Honestly, I started reading more parenting advice type blogs, which made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Then I started reading blogs that tell you how to become a successful blogger, and I started to compare myself to these other women that I only had a glimpse of through my screen.

Slowly I allowed myself to continue to feel unworthy. And now.....I'm tired of it.

I've held back and not talked about issues that were important to me....thinking no one would care, and so and so would write about it much better than I could, so why bother? I was also thinking it's not really what my blog is about, so I better stay clear.... I needed to stick with my niche. To be a blogger you're supposed to follow certain rules, use proper English and punctuation, your blog should be free of spelling errors. Um...that ain't me. While I'm a literal person, I also kinda don't like to follow the rules.

There are all types of errors all over this blog, and I don't care about a niche anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I love posting photos of my kids, and will continue to post the way I normally do. I also want to add more of me. Maybe I'm not really sure how to do that, or how well it would be accepted. I have issues, something about never feeling or thinking I was good enough growing up....  those issues could be a book! I've always tried to keep my game face on. Nothing rattles me, and I'm strong. The truth is, there are a lot of things that rattle me, and I don't feel very strong.

My hope is that one day my kids will look back at this blog and see me and themselves through my eyes. How are they gonna do that if I don't share more of me? I would really like to talk more about my struggles, my childhood, my fears and insecurities. For too long I've been caught up in the "right way" of doing things  Wondering if I'm AP enough, feeling bad because we can't afford to eat organic. My kids are eating when there are thousands of kids right here in our city that don't have food. I should be grateful, but instead all I can think when I shop, or cook is how it's not organic.  Worrying about those who judge us because we unschool, but they haven't even taken the time to learn about it, so why should I care!?

 I. am. so. done.

I mean, how much longer am I going to allow myself to be sucked in? My husband loves me and so do my kids. That's all that matters. Why am I comparing myself? Why am I hiding parts of who I am? Life is too short for all this worry I've got going on.

I want my kids to know that they were loved, that I had challenging times, but that I also came through it.
I may not know as much as Suzie Q, but I'm going to start sharing what I do know.

I love God. I'm sassy......and I don't  like to be wrong. Have rediscovered my small shoe fetish. I'll wear heels just about anywhere now....they make me feel good! I like makeup, especially lip gloss and mascara, but also love to play with eyeshadow. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal, but I can also dress it up when needed. I adore big, bold earrings. My favorite colors are pink and red. I enjoy cooking, but don't own a cookbook. I like to drink wine, but my favorite drink is the appletini...mmm.... made with grey goose vodka.

I've recently started wearing my natural hair after a lifetime of weaves and wigs. Loving my baby locs!

I can't sew, but want to learn. Keep saying I'm gonna exercise, but am too lazy to get up in the mornings. I don't cloth diaper anymore, and have been using sposies for months now. I'm upset that I can't get the hang of knitting, and wish I could crochet better. I've found a new love for old black and white movies. Sometimes we eat fast food. There can be a lot of tv watching, and video game playing that goes on when we're home. I don't think it rots your brain, and I don't think it robs the child of their autonomy. We actually learn a lot from the different types of media. I like having some wooden toys, but see nothing wrong with plastic....do you know how many kids would love to have a plastic toy because they have none? Probably millions.

I love Twitter. I really really do. I am so thankful for the online friendships I've made these past few years. It feels good to have such a diverse and big support network in person and online.

Sometimes my kids get on my nerves. Sometimes I want to lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes of privacy, and sometimes I do it.

Even on my worst parenting days, or in my not so great mothering moments....I. am. good. enough.

For months I've felt this slow build. A sort of shedding, and I'm ready to be done with the things in my life that are toxic.

This feels great!



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Visit Authentic Parenting and MudpieMama to find out how you can participate in the next Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 27 with all the carnival links.)

• Becoming Intentional with My Time Valerie at Momma in Progress shares the beginning of her year-long journey toward more intentional living. 
• Alirik’s Birth Story: Sweet Surprise Lauren at Hobo Mama tells the sweet surprise unassisted home water birth story of her second child.
• My Rebirth: An Honest Look Darcel at The Mahogany Way talks a little about some of the fear and insecurity she's felt over the years since starting her parenting journey and her blog.
• Trusting My Body: Ailia’s Birth Story After a very challenging birth with her son, Dionna at Code Name: Mama was nervous about having another natural birth. But practicing relaxation techniques and birth affirmations proved to be just what she needed to have her perfect, peaceful, unassisted homebirth.
• My Homeschool Philosophy Paige a Bay Dust Diaries shares her new year's resulution about homeschooling. 
• Yet Another Resolutions Post... Zen mummy's resolutions for a better 2012
• Renewing Green Passions in the New Year Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about renewing a passion for green living in the new year
• Birthing and New Beginnings... And Better Mothering Sheila at A Living Family shares her first ever New Year's resolutions to be a more mindful, compassionate and respectful mother to her two-year old daughter after the recent birth of her son.
• An Open Letter to MTV Regarding 16 and Pregnant Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama delivers a pointed message to MTV about how they misrepresent birth and parenthood on 16 and Pregnant.
• Setting Intentions Megan at The Other Baby Blog shares another way to ring in the New Year.
• Spencer's Birth Story Momma Jorje shares her family's story of birthing her son with Down syndrome.
• Looking Forward, Looking Back Erica @ ChildOrganics shares how she is able to look back at the loss of their daughter and yet move forward with her family at the same time. 
• Unique unto Itself. Melissa of Vibrant Wanderings has chosen a word for her second child's birth: awareness.
• The Unassisted Birth of The LIttle Buddha. Laura at Authentic Parenting shares the birth story of her new baby
• Birthing and Resolutions: Keeping Good Things in Motion. MudpieMama shares her VBAC story and why she skipped making resolutions in the traditional way. 
• The Birth of a New Era by Mandy from Living Peacefully With Children

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it's been simple

This 7yr old of mine has her own style. I'm lovin' that hat on her. She lost another tooth so we're going to the dollar store to spend her tooth fairy money later today.
Not too long ago I was talking about not being able to get a picture of her because she moves so much, and so quickly....now she's always posing and asking me to take her picture.

Dino Toss. This game is so much fun! We were all over shooting at first, but eventually got the hang of it. While we were playing I was thinking that this game teaches physics, very cool.

It's been feeling more like Spring again here in the beach lately. And so we have painted toes. She chose the color and pattern herself.

What else....

more and more coloring and drawing. Ava's little ms sunshine

Samuel and Cars duplos

Pretend play being He-man and She-ra. Me and my brother used to pretend to be them when we were kids too.

Wii play

Eight books at bedtime....not short board books either. Dr Seuss, Disney, Farmers Market and Unicorns to start....then it was an episode of  Wild China on Netflix before the girls conked out at after midnight. They almost made it to the end of the episode.

Did you know there were bamboo rats? Also sap is used for making rubber?  We talked about the red panda that looks more like a fox, and the black and white panda. Watched them zip across wild rivers to get to the markets. Very interesting stuff. Think will watch another episode or two later this evening after we finish our runs.





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I Am Done With This Winter Already

We're having a really really really rough winter. The sad part, besides the kids being sick for 2 weeks straight....winter is just now getting started here. One day it's in the 40's, the next it's in the upper 60's, and then down into the 30's. To that I say.... Seriously!?

I'm just so tired, but I can't sleep. That's why I'm here blogging at whatever time in the morning it is. I don't even want to know.....I'll find out when I hit publish.

I'm starting to feel like we'll never fully come out of all this sickness. Kiah seems to be growing out of her asthma as she gets older. Ava and Samuel get hit hard though. The past two days I have literally been across my couch with either both Samuel and Ava on my lap, and Kiah at my side(when she's not into something else around the house) or nursing Samuel while the girls play Wii, or play at the computer.

When they go upstairs I start Brothers & Sisters on Netflix. We've also been doing lots of coloring and drawing lately. I went through and sharpened all of their colored pencils the other day. They were worn way down. Coloring books, workbooks, drawing on plain paper, we're doing it all.

I'm tired of complaining about how tired I am, but I am.... Tired. I took Samuel in to the Dr's today. Well, yesterday....whatever, and they did a chest x-ray to check for pneumonia. His x-ray was clear and they've started him on a controller (Pulmicort) for him to use in his breathing treatments at home. One of my concerns was the amount of steroids he's been getting since last summer/fall. One dose of steroids, and when I say dose, I mean course of treatment over a 4/5 day period is the equivalent to what you're supposed to have over the entire year.

All of that has been going into his little body off and on for the past 6 months or so. I feel so bad for him, and now Ava's getting the respiratory thing Samuel has. Kiah had it too, but it wasn't as severe....she was done the next day.

So, I made my concerns known about how much he's been getting lately, and they finally decided to give him the Pulmicort. The steroid helps with the inflammation and swelling in his lungs and all that so he can breathe, but I'm hoping this controller will help keep us out of the hospital for a very long time. I'm done with ER visits this year. They have all of these triggers.....change in weather, dust, catching a cold, fragrance, foods.

This was supposed to be a one paragraph post. Ha! I really need adult conversation. Can't talk on the phone because every 5 minutes I hear mommy I need.....I want....can you?....mom she's touching me!

In between all of the chaos are moments like this one. Samuel was so fussy that day. He had been sitting in Kiah's lap and then he got back in my lap, she went upstairs to get something and he had a complete melt down. Throwing his little body all over my lap screaming and crying for ya-ya.....she wasn't even gone for a full 60 seconds. She came back down and he reached up for her.I immediately grabbed my camera and smiled so big once this picture came up on my screen. I love this picture. I look at it several times a day.

Reminders that there are moments of peace amidst all the sickness, chaos, and clutter that is my life right now.

I did get some really gooooood news in my email. I was interviewed by Bamboo Magazine last winter! The issue came out today. I thought there would be a little blurb, but I was scrolling across the bottom looking for the page she told me it would be on, and I'm thinking that looks like Samuel. That IS Samuel! I have a two page spread! All I kept saying was Wow....over and over. I'm in there with some pretty great bloggers. That link takes you directly to my page, but be sure to check out the other bloggers, and the rest of the magazine. There's some good stuff in there.

After typing all of this I figured why I can't sleep.....even though I'm dog tired, this is the only time of day or night(depending on where you are)that I have all to myself. Oh, I changed my template. I like it a lot. Think I'll leave it like this for a while.

I'm going to stop now.....but I really am done with this winter.








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